My stepmother and I went shopping today and it took a little longer than we anticipated. We went to the Dollar Tree, Target, and grabbed some Chil-fil-a before heading home.
Of course, Nicholas' body doesn't work on a clock, not on one that can be predicted or dictated by anyone else. He follows his body's own natural clock, that typically tells him it's time to eat, sleep, and poop when it is least convenient for everyone else. So needless to say, Nicholas got ruthlessly hungry while we were in Target. He was fussing. We weren't ready to leave yet. I went to the least busy aisle in the back of the store, which just so happened to be the bath towel aisle, and... I fed him. I was wearing yoga pants that have the extra fabric on the top that folds over (wonderful pants for nursing mamas!). I lifted the top of the pants over my belly, lifted my shirt, latched my son, and covered up with my jacket- and looked at bath towels for a while.
Why is this significant? Well, for one, I didn't care. And for two, neither did anyone else. With time, I'm caring less and less about where I breastfeed. Nursing mothers aren't the ones with a problem, people who have a problem with nursing mothers have the problem. But for a long time, I felt weird feeding my son in public because I assumed other people would care. However, the more I breastfeed in public, the more I realize that nobody actually cares. If anything, some people stare thinking they might sneak a peek! Or women look on admirably. But I have yet to experience anyone showing disgust or disapproval.
Luckily, only one person actually walked down that aisle. She just walked on by tending to her own shopping. But other people walked along the ends of the aisle. I avoided eye contact, but I did catch a glance at an Hispanic family that stopped for a moment. The mother looked at my baby covered with my jacket, then smiled at me. I smiled back. I felt understood. I felt normal. Her kids were playing, but saw me too. They seemed to know what I was doing, but they didn't seem phased. I love moments like that.
I remember many years ago when Kim Kardashian mentioned a nursing mother in a "tweet". I don't use Twitter- I wouldn't "follow" her even if I did-, but it was in the news that she made a comment that a woman was nursing her baby in a restaurant and that she thought it was disgusting. I thought of that tweet the first time I nursed in a restaurant. And that tweet is actually the reason I hesitated at first. I wonder if she still feels that way now that she's a mother. I feel like so many people just don't "get" it. In America especially, breasts are seen as just sex symbols. They are provocative. They aren't respected for their first and foremost purpose- feeding babies. It's almost taboo for a woman to feed her baby in public to some people.
That is the reason I was so insecure about nursing my son in public at first. I remembered Kim Kardashian's comment. I thought of people like that who might judge me or make a face at me or even say something to me. I'm sure I will be confronted by a "hater" before my nursing days are over. And yes, it will find its place in my blog. But I have actually been pleasantly surprised that, so far, I haven't come across anyone like that.
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